Love You Like a Freeze Pop?

First of all I would like to apologize for my recent silence...I'm leaving my job and so have actually had stuff to do over the last couple of weeks that has precluded me from Mariah-ing. But today, I'm making the time.

Readers, recently rumors have surfaced that all might not be well with the union of Mimi and Nick. We all know that that the tabloids love nothing more than to prey on the slightest hint of things going awry, so who knows if there is a kernel of truth here or not. As one loyal lamb told me, "This either means I'm gonna cry for days...or she's going to have another Butterfly album and that means I'll cry for years." Truth.

So today let's revisit "The Impossible" from 2009's Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, and think good thoughts. It's a sweet, smooth, mellow jam:

And now I love you like summertime, love you cherry wine

Love you like free money, like a preacher loves Sunday
Love you like a freeze pop, love you like a milkshake
Love you like a high school girl on a first date

Love you like shooting stars, love you like a muscle car
Love you like were destined
Love you like my lover and my best friend
Yeah, you did the impossible, yeah

...

And now I love you like sunsets, bubble baths on the jet

Love you like Kool Aid, Louis Millionaire shades
Love you like Sugar Daddies, love like a pimp caddy
Love like a holiday, Duncan Hines yellow cake

Love you like it's 5 am and I'm off work
Love you like Louboutin heels and a miniskirt
Love you like an Asscher-cut pink and white engagement ring
Love you like laying in the bed, bumping Jodeci

Whither "Triumphant?"

August 3, 2012. Deep in the sizzling heart of East Africa, this intrepid blogger took a well-deserved break from cooking my meal of goat over an open charcoal fire and washing my few rags of clothes in the drought-stricken trickle of a river 10 miles away. Beset by mosquitoes and wild dogs, I manged to climb a banana tree and find some purchase while balancing my iPad on a cluster of unripe fruit. While the unforgiving Rwandan sun beat down, I carefully used my last few minutes of battery power to download Mims's new song, "Triumphant,"* which was intended to be the lead single off of her then as-yet-untitled 14th studio album.

[Ed. note -- actually, this intrepid blogger awoke late that day in her luxurious one-bedroom apartment in Kigali, Rwanda, made a light lunch of toast, jam, and English breakfast tea, then walked the five minutes to her air-conditioned office building where the WiFi was fast and free. After downloading the song and "working" for a couple of hours, she made the short trek home, stopping in for some beers at her favorite bar along the way.]

Video for "Triumphant," 2012

Anyway. What I DO remember clearly about that day is thinking, what the hell? Where is Mims on this track? The track opens with rapper Meek Mill, then goes into Mims's chorus; then Rick Ross raps, then Mims's chorus; then the bridge; THEN, at almost two and a half minutes into what is a just-over-four minute song, Mims starts singing. And it's not what we're used to, either; her voice is too far back in the mix, which would be ok for a singer of lesser quality, but come ON. Also, the lyrics are bland, general, definitely not her best work. And Jermaine Dupri co-produced this? Wha' happened?

In the Wikipedia entry for this song which is really amazingly long, Mims says that this was a song written while husband Nick Cannon was in the hospital for mild kidney failure, and also inspired by the death of her good friend Whitney Houston. Ok...but why does it have to be so bad? Wouldn't the ultimate gesture of resiliency be to release another "We Belong Together" in this moment?

Fast forward to May 2014 -- Mims's 14th album, Me. I am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse is finally released after many delays. And where is the much-hyped "Triumphant" that was supposed to be such a beacon of light in Mims's dark night? Nowhere to be found. All the other songs forgot to call it when they were getting together to be recorded, apparently. Now it sadly puts on its headgear for another sleepless night and weeps lonely tears...lost in non-album limbo.

Don't worry "Triumphant." You have a home on Ain't No Donuts.



*Actually it's "Triumphant (Get 'Em)" ft. Rick Ross and Meek Mill, but you know...