Guys, Someone Roofied R. Kelly

Who didn't love the opening track of Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, "Betcha Gon' Know?" With a mesmerizing beat and minute-by-minute recap of Mims catching her lover in the act of cheating and then raining down upon him with a world of hurt ("Oprah Winfrey whole segment, for real, for real"), it was clearly her unique take on the utterly fantastic cultural phenomenon that is R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet series (manifesto?).

So it made sense that Kells would be invited to collaborate with Mims on a remix, probably originally intended for the rumored MOAIA remix album that, disappointingly, never materialized in toto. Appearing as a bonus track on MIAMTEC, the track makes little sense towards the end of the album, but who cares? It's Kells. It's done quite nicely, with Kells playing the role of the cheating lover who now has a chance to tell his side of the story. And lo, what a tale he has to relate! Guys, someone roofied R. Kelly!

"Before we both get loud

Imma break it down

And let you know what happened for real

I was over her house

Me and her on the couch

And the whole plan was just to chill

And then it got hot

After taking some shots

The time must have slipped away

Because all I know

I woke hungover

And girl it was the very next day

With the sun in my face

I woke up in a rage

Screamed, "What have you done to me?"

And I'm telling you babe

I know it sounds crazy

She must have put something in my drink"

This from the man who once sang:

"Now the moral of the story is cuff your bitch

'cause hey I'm black, handsome, I sing plus I'm rich and (I'm a flirt)"