"You're Irking Me, I Am Irked..."

Things that the NBC special "Mariah Carey: At Home In Concert" taught us:

• Matt Lauer has listened to MIAMTEC in its entirety
• "Chanteuse" is a word "of French origin," so we can never really know what it's meaning is
• When playing with children, full evening dress is recommended
• The video for "You're Mine (Eternal)" is really bad. Which is crazy, because this is a woman who knows how to make a video. Exhibit A:

And B:

And for good measure, C:

All of those should enable us to forget about this:

Sheeeee-it: The Bonus Tracks of MIAMTEC

After the The Emancipation of Mimi was released upon the world in 2005, there was much rejoicing. The first three tracks of the album all received great radio play, and "We Belong Together" became a modern-day classic and Mims's 16th #1 on US charts. Seemingly unable to stop the flow of chart-friendly creativity at this point, she gifted listeners with "Don't Forget About Us" as a single shortly thereafter, and it, too, reached #1. To capitalize upon this new hit and continue riding the wave of TEOM, the "Platinum" edition of TEOM was released seven months later with bonus tracks "Don't Forget About Us" and some other goodies, including personal favorite "Makin' It Last All Night (What It Do) ft. Jermaine Dupri," which contains this memorable contribution from JD:

"Listen I got stacks like
The international house of pancakes
Your man great, got more Rovers then a Land makes
I make hits and I don't care about your damn hates
Can't stop doing it , I just do it for the fans' sake"

Here was an example of bonus tracks par excellence. Unfortunately, MIAMTEC is a departure from this winning model. Problem #1: a "regular" and "deluxe edition" were pushed out on the same day. What's the strategy there? Is anyone really not going to spring an extra buck or two to get three more songs? And not that I'm a proponent of such machinations, but why not wait a few months to release the deluxe edition and make us all buy it again? It's like how they keep releasing editions of Twin Peaks; first you have to have the pilot episode included, then you have to have Fire Walk With Me. I know you can all relate to this.

Anyway, the three bonus tracks that appear on MIAMTEC are solid: the aforementioned "Betcha Gon' Know" with R. Kelly; "It's a Wrap" with Mary J. Blige (who of course has a great track of her own by the same name); and "The Art of Letting Go." Why the latter was relegated to a bonus track I have no idea. Seems like you could easily sub it out for one of the weaker tracks like "Meteorite" and strengthen the core of the album.

"It's a Wrap" with Mary J. Blige is a pure delight. While Mims unfortunately didn't contribute any new vocals, MJB takes over the song with authority, telling Mims -- as "a friend and a fan" -- that she needs to drop that man. It's a tribute to the quality of the source material that MJB on the second verse lends a different but equally good spin to the song. Only problem now is, there are TWO tracks on MIAMTEC that begin with the sound of a champagne bottle being opened and poured. Sheeeee-it...

Guys, Someone Roofied R. Kelly

Who didn't love the opening track of Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, "Betcha Gon' Know?" With a mesmerizing beat and minute-by-minute recap of Mims catching her lover in the act of cheating and then raining down upon him with a world of hurt ("Oprah Winfrey whole segment, for real, for real"), it was clearly her unique take on the utterly fantastic cultural phenomenon that is R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet series (manifesto?).

So it made sense that Kells would be invited to collaborate with Mims on a remix, probably originally intended for the rumored MOAIA remix album that, disappointingly, never materialized in toto. Appearing as a bonus track on MIAMTEC, the track makes little sense towards the end of the album, but who cares? It's Kells. It's done quite nicely, with Kells playing the role of the cheating lover who now has a chance to tell his side of the story. And lo, what a tale he has to relate! Guys, someone roofied R. Kelly!

"Before we both get loud

Imma break it down

And let you know what happened for real

I was over her house

Me and her on the couch

And the whole plan was just to chill

And then it got hot

After taking some shots

The time must have slipped away

Because all I know

I woke hungover

And girl it was the very next day

With the sun in my face

I woke up in a rage

Screamed, "What have you done to me?"

And I'm telling you babe

I know it sounds crazy

She must have put something in my drink"

This from the man who once sang:

"Now the moral of the story is cuff your bitch

'cause hey I'm black, handsome, I sing plus I'm rich and (I'm a flirt)"

Different Ways to Talk about Me

One of the things that has struck me on my first listen of "Me...I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse" is the many musical and vocal callbacks to other Mariah material. While this might be inevitable for an artist whose oeuvre spans almost a quarter century, Mariah makes a special art of self-reference. This is a theme I'd like to keep exploring in the future, and especially as I eventually discuss MIAMTEC at length, but I just wanted to leave here one of my favorite Mariah-as-Mariah moments. And this was in 1999!! Not even a decade into her career.

"Sipping Bailey's Cream by the stereo 
Trying to find relief on the radio 
I'm suppressing the tears but they start to flow 
'Cause the next song I hear is a song I wrote 
When we first got together, early that September 
I can't bear to listen, so I might as well drift 
In the kitchen, pour another glass or two 
And I try to forget you "

~ Crybaby ft. Snoop Dogg, Rainbow, 1999

#Hello...

Welcome to my new blog about Mariah Carey. May those dedicated fans find respite here, and those with skepticism in their hearts be won over by...The Elusive Chanteuse...